2-XL

I'm sorry for not posting more frequently. School has ramped up in a big way, so it's hard to justify doing much writing of things that haven't been formally assigned. Regardless, what follows is a brief update on my progress.

Things are going well, though not at the torrid pace at which I started. What's been most interesting, though, is that, while the poundage hasn't been changing as quickly, I have noticed the greatest change in my body during this time. I don't have a good explanation for this experience, but it has done wonders for keeping up my motivation despite a (relative) stall on the scale. I learned this week that the fruit servings that I had been omitting are actually of the utmost importance to turbo-charging my metabolism, so I've started noshing on apples and berries like a madman. At this moment, still less than three months since deciding to murder Fat Steve, I am down (approximately) 63 pounds, 3 pant-sizes, and at least one shirt size. The usual caveat applies (I still have a long way to go), but I must say, it really feels good to not have to go to the Big and Tall department for clothes anymore! It seems silly to be excited to fit into XXL shirts, but that size was so far from fitting three months ago, it's actually a pretty big deal.

As far as the day to day goes, my struggles look very much the same as they did before, though I think I understand them better now. When it comes to foods that are obviously off-plan (your fried foods, sugary stuff, CheezIts, etc.), I am not even tempted anymore. In the past two weeks I have sat in a room in which cookies were being baked, ice cream cake devoured, and french fries gobbled with nary a slip-up. It's the borderline foods (or even more so on-plan foods in larger quantities than recommended) that get me. Cheese on a sandwich, an extra tortilla as a late-night snack, whatever. In isolation, it seems like these extra 100 calories are no big deal (and they probably aren't), but I guess I don't fully understand what effect they may be having on my metabolism itself. SlimGenics' whole thing is using food to maximize the heat of my engine--am I torpedoing that effort without even knowing it? I mean, the results, while not quite as electric as at the start, are still really good, but I wonder if this kind of line-blurring could come back to bite me in the butt in the long run. Even on my worst day, though, my eating is 10000% better than before I started SlimGenics. In any case, I'm working on cutting down on the "good enough" choices when ideal is less feasible.

Steve

Roswell

In short, readers, things are going great. I just came from SlimGenics--I weighed in 51 pounds below my starting weight. My pants are falling off, my shirts are all baggy, and my feet are always cold--I MUST be losing weight! Bigger than that, though, I feel my self-image turning around. When I look in the mirror, I've really started to see how far I've come instead of how much further I need to go. I see accomplishment and success instead of years of tacit failure. Now, that's not to say that I would be content to stop here--not nearly--it's just an emotional component of the weight loss journey that I feel blessed to enjoy. You skinny people don't understand how deeply obesity buries into your self-concept--it affects so much more than just what you see in the mirror. It affects every aspect of how you value yourself in one way or another. I will explore that topic more deeply sometime when I'm not on my lunch break.

Oh, and I've started exercising again! I've discovered that the stationary bike is a great place to read my textbooks because it is doubly productive and makes the time go WAY faster. I am amazed at how much less pain I feel when I exercise. Don't get me wrong, I sweat HARD and my body fatigues, but the aches and pains that were CONSTANT 51 pounds ago are not even worth mentioning anymore. At this point, the only thing that pulls me off of the bike is boredom. Sooner or later I'm going to start incorporating weight lifting to fill out the space the fat is vacating, but for now I'm just trying to give my heart a chance to benefit from this diet as much as the rest of my body is.

51 and counting. God is good.