Basmati

It has been two full weeks since I started SlimGenics. It has been two full weeks since I decided that there is better to be had in life. It has been two full weeks since I determined that no one could make the decision to lose weight for me. Today is January 22, and I am 20 pounds lighter than I was two full weeks ago.

Yes, there is a long way to go (I always throw that caveat in there, don't I?), but 20 pounds is nothing to scoff at. In fact, I am pumped. Super pumped. It has been exciting to see the number shrink each time I step on the scale, and I am even more excited that I can see and feel my body changing little by little every day. The reality of weight loss, though, was made most tangible and clear to me at today's weigh in. As I was about to leave after a VERY encouraging check in, the counselor, Ryan, said, "Steve, before you go, I have a test for you." He led me over to the very familiar scale area and pointed at a huge burlap bag of basmati rice I had hardly noticed before. He said, "Steve, pick that up. How much do you think that weighs?" I lifted it off the ground, thinking, "Damn, this mofo is HEAVY!" It didn't take long for me to figure out what was going on...I was holding a 20 pound bag of basmati. 

I stood there for a second, thinking first about how ridiculously heavy the bag felt, and how ABSURD it is that I was carrying it around ON ME two weeks ago! Even for that short amount of time standing there, I felt my knees start to ache. My knees haven't hurt in over a week--it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to make that connection. It was such a powerful moment for me--to see weight loss as something other than digits changing on the scale or friendly trips to the mirror. I'm literally shrinking.

So, it has been two full weeks, and I am a bulk bag of rice lighter. Maybe I'll lift a Mini Cooper on my last day.

Steve

Habits: A Two Part Equation

(I am so tired. I am writing tonight as an exercise in commitment--not because I am feeling the least bit eloquent.)

Welp, 8 days down; 13 pounds down. Not bad. Half of the diet already feels like second nature--saying "no" to Fat Steve's menu is getting easier and easier everyday. The greasy ghosts that haunted my tastebuds are gone. Saying no to sugar all of last year laid a great foundation for this year's much more aggressive endeavor into self-discipline. I learned how not to dwell on the things I couldn't have, and to find pleasure in the REASON for saying "no". I feel I have broken my bad eating habits (or at least the most obviously offensive ones) and I don't really miss them at all. But that's just half of the new lifestyle story...

I AM SO SICK OF VEGETABLES! While I am still very much a believer in SlimGenics, good grief do they want me to eat a ton of produce. Here is the part where I make the cliche complaints about healthy food: It's so expensive, it's out of season, and hard to keep fresh in the house for any amount of time. Here's the real problem: Whether or not I am able to easily say no to McDonalds, my tastebuds are still accustomed to those kinds of flavors. Salty, greasy, predictable. I have six different kinds of vegetables in my fridge, but right now I'd prefer to eat nothing to trying to make them taste good. Now, I know that's just because I'm not really hungry and I'm in a funky mood, but, for crying out loud, it's 9:30 and I'm still supposed to have two more servings of vegetables and another of fruit! I just want to go to bed! Getting rid of the old habits has been easy so far; it's the replacing them with good habits that is hard for me. Knowing what I know about psychology, I realize that replacing the habit is going to be crucial to longterm success. I am going to keep working at it, I'm just bored with it tonight. Better than breaking down for a cheeseburger.

On the positive side of things, my appetite has shrunk considerably. I find myself quite full at the end of my humble plates. This was a crucial step in surviving the weight loss process--I'm glad to not have to fight hunger pangs throughout the day.

One last thought: weighing in every day is a bad idea. Losing weight is a long term goal, but doing the right things is a minute to minute commitment. When you weigh in every day, the marginal successes are less motivating. Feeling like you've done a great job since yesterday, then seeing .1 pounds difference on the scale is somewhat less than inspirational. That's just an unimpressive bowel movement's difference really. Starting next week, I'm going to weigh in only a few times a week. In theory, as I continue to follow the plan, I will continue to FEEL the benefits of leaving Fat Steve behind every day, but will see more quantitative change from weigh in to weigh in by spreading them out. Please note, this is not Steve defying the folks at SlimGenics by coming in 3 times per week. They suggest coming in every day for the first two weeks to make sure you are getting the hang of things, then coming in 3 times per week thereafter. 

This got long. Maybe I should have been writing for school instead. Oh well, thanks for your time!

Steve

Grumblings

This was a tough weekend for my stomach. Not because I was hungry--not nearly--but because it is being forced to adjust to having to process real food! My roommate, Shane, said it best: Before, my stomach could just quick scan what I was eating and say, "Welp, nothing useful here. To the colon!" Now it has to work. Or it gets to work. All of this roughage is undoubtedly good for me, but my gut is learning what to do with it. Since yesterday (Saturday) morning, my stomach has been grumbling constantly, but definitely not out of hunger. It hasn't been painful or nauseating, just uncomfortable. I'm going to bring it up with my counselor at my check in tomorrow, but my guess is that it'll resolve itself in time.

We're coming up on the official One Week mark, and I am weighing in 10.25 pounds lighter than when I started on Tuesday. Pretty...pretty...pretty...pretty good. My clothes are fitting better, my body is not nearly as tired as it was when it was full of grease, and I'm even more motivated than when I started. I still have a long way to go, but I am fully on board.

I haven't even eaten all of my food today. This is the weirdest diet.

Steve

Victories and Redefining Food

My department was treated to Five Guys Burgers for lunch today to celebrate my coworker's retirement. In other words, I spent an hour in a minefield. While I could have MAYBE justified eating a burger without a bun with some lettuce or something (beef is on plan, but limited in its thermogenic utility), I decided I would be better off coming home afterward to make myself a full, productive lunch. So I sat there, chugging water, chatting with my coworkers, trying not to fantasize about half masticated cow rolling around in my wide open trap (weird thing for me to say if you don't get the reference...). Hard though it was, I stayed strong and got to share my early success with some of the people I work with. I felt a great deal of pride as I walked back to the car. Pride and hunger.

I got home (I live 2 minutes from work) and opened up the pantry. Rather than indulging in greasy beef and a mountain of fries at Five Guys, I treated myself to a lovely turkey burger (one of my favorite foods period) on a bed of spinach with a side of brown rice and sautéed broccoli. Tell me, who had a better lunch? Me, because mine is going to help me lose weight. Oh, and it was friggin delicious.

Committing to this diet and analyzing the way it will fit into my life has forced me to reconsider the role of food in my life. I wouldn't have called myself an "emotional eater" per se, but I definitely used food as a way of making myself happy. Whether it be just by choosing where I eat a meal or picking a snack, I knew I could make myself marginally happier by eating something tasty (and always horrid for me). But now, particularly in the light of the emphasis SlimGenics puts on the food driving the weight loss, I am seeing food more as fuel for my fire. Fuel that, as it happens, might not have to taste terrible!

Just a victory and a few thoughts to share today. Thanks for reading!

Steve

You Can't Walk a Mile without Taking a First Step

Through two and a half days on SlimGenics I have lost seven pounds. Seven. During that time, I have eaten several cups of raw spinach, a heaping portion of green beans, a whole mess of berries (with an emphasis on rasp- and blue-), 8 apples, four turkey burgers, and a couple of hardboiled eggs (in addition to the three afore mentioned protein-laden shakes). The first three days (the prep phase) look slightly different from the rest of the program, but only just so. I have the freedom to eat a little more protein and have a shake I need to drink twice a day during this phase, but there will be other things added to replace those items starting Friday. While my stomach has had to adjust to portions smaller than that which would feed an army, I have not gone hungry at any point in the last three days. I'm so in on SlimGenics right now.

And I already feel better! My head is heavy because I haven't slept much and have had to cut caffeine significantly, but my body feels springier--like all the little things that are hard for a fatso are a little less laborsome. Considering I am only three days in, this is another newly discovered motivating-benefit of this endeavor. And those are the kinds of factors that motivate longer.

Tomorrow I start the main phase of the diet--the plan I'll be on for the foreseeable future. Every day, I'm EXPECTED to eat three servings of meat/protein, three servings of fruit, four servings of vegetables, three servings of fat (a bit of butter or olive oil will be most common), two non-flour starches (oats, brown rice, quinoa, etc.), one floured starch, and three of their protein-rich, low fat/carb snacks. Their menu is a LITTLE restrictive (no corn or bananas for example), but basically all sensible, real food is fair game. Somehow I've stumbled upon a diet that wants me to eat more than I want to...

This is all really exciting for me. It doesn't feel laborious--it just feels like caring about what I put in my body (you know, like a skinny person).

Seven pounds! Hooray!

Steve

My Last Day as a Fat Kid

Today was a big day. Today, January 6, 2014, was my last day as a fat kid.

Tomorrow morning I will be embarking on a journey of diminishing proportions. I have enrolled in the Slimgenics program--a guided weight loss plan built upon eating real, healthy foods in reasonable portions, along with one-to-one counseling to help push me through the inevitable stumbling blocks along the way. The plan promises quite rapid results, but at whatever rate the pounds come off, the kind of behavior modification the program espouses is very much in line with healthy, lasting success. There's nothing drastic or risky about it, it's just about discipline. If you have questions about the plan, feel free to ask. Some of the nuances will inevitably come up in this journal over time.

Today was my allotted indulgence day--the last day for a while that I get to eat whatever I want. But, to be honest, it's really the last day of it's kind. Period. I'm done being a fat kid; I'm done letting my selfish tongue make the decisions that the rest of me has to pay for. I'm done settling for a good-enough version of myself. Starting tomorrow, I'm not a fat kid anymore. Starting tomorrow, I'm a healthy adult. Now, I fully understand that losing weight WILL take time, and it will take time for my body to heal the damage that the last 25 years have done. I'm not "healthy" yet. But "healthy" isn't a status; healthy is ongoing. And, for me, healthy is about to start. By the grace of God, right now I'm just fat. My heart is fine; my blood pressure and other vitals are decent enough. But, at the rate I had been going, those numbers were ready to head south--this is me nipping all that in the bud. I'm taking control.

I'm going to journal here at least four times a week (Mon-Sun) about the process, about success, and about failure. My favorite service that SlimGenics offers is the accountability--if I stop going in for counseling, they start calling to bug me. They're not calling to drum up business, they don't get paid any extra for my visits, they call because they want me to succeed. It is for this same reason that I'm making this blog public. I want to keep anyone who cares up to date on my progress, but I also know that I'm going to need support from the people who love me. So, if you feel so moved, please feel free to ask how it's going, encourage as you see fit, and comment on how dead sexy I look. In time, with practice in self-discipline and dedication, I hope to become a better man and smaller person through this all-important process.

I can't wait to get started.

Steven